We watched a movie the other night called “Flow”. It is wonderful, many layered and probably as metaphorical as you want it to be, seemingly about the passage of time or at least the inevitability of it, and the futility of trying to think about the why. It is one that sits with you a while, well worth the watch.
Completely unrelated and seemingly irrelevant, I also read these pages in my reading of Rick Rubin’s book, (a wonderful book that will become a part of my continuous nightly reading), recently:
Both of the above seemed appropriate timing for this time of year. Thinking about time and meaning as we tend to do around the winter solstice.
The end of the year lines up approximately with my birthday. Solstice, holidays, New Year…for me it all comes at about the same time. So another year behind us on the calendar also means finishing another trip around the sun. This one makes sixty-four.
As I reflect, I don’t think there were any strong or definite turning points. Just showing up every day, (or at least trying), filling sketch books, marking time in some small way. And moving on.
Probably from the outside that doesn’t look like much. And for sure, sometimes it is messy. In its best moments it is merely interesting. An important thing I think is that I still have an enthusiasm for life and I enjoy getting up in the morning to embrace the day.
Some random sketch book pages, messy, possibly interesting:
Seems like showing up is the theme running through all my posts these days.
What else is there to do?
A well‑known creative figure passed away tragically recently. A figure who had come into our homes and become part of our lives for over 50 years. As much as we tend to focus on the tragedy or unsettling nature of the death, the thing that kept coming back to me was the way the people who knew him spoke afterward: decent, steady, generous, professional. As a person and an artist and also as a leader of larger projects. Not perfect but human and solid.
Juxtaposed with that, the questions of character that have been impossible to ignore this year stand out even more.
Maybe that’s what this whole journey is about. Not legacy in the grand sense, but the tone of what’s said when you’re no longer in the room.
I keep coming back to these in my thoughts. Things we learned in our youngest years. Character matters, doing what is right, (at least to the best of our abilities), even when no one is watching, trying to be kind, leaning into the work, getting hands dirty when necessary, not blaming others, taking responsibility, the ability to laugh at oneself, being slow to anger, enjoying the company of dogs. Working at all that while struggling to appreciate myself in the wake of a Catholic upbringing and the associated baggage of guilt that will always cling to the fringes of my foggy brain. And of course I am no good at any of this. But it seems like the one thing that is important so I will keep trying.
I sometimes wonder if young people these days get even more conflicting input on these simple things. I think they might be up against a different set of pressures than I was at that age, especially with ideas that success means money, dominance, or beating the algorithms. I’m not trying to be the old guy saying the past was simpler or better. But it seems like the same basic lessons should still matter, regardless of the pressure, and those ideas don’t seem to be as present during formative years as they once were. (For me, I still gravitate toward books like Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten rather than The 48 Laws of Power).
On the other hand, maybe the world is the same as it always has been, and it’s just my viewpoint that has changed. There is always a pretty good chance that I am wrong… about everything.
Going into the new year, in the ongoing effort to stay grounded, I find this piece incredibly powerful:
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…if I loose my grip… will I take flight?…
Bruce Cockburn