What if the tension I feel about art has less to do with time and more to do with meaning?
In a recent discussion in my coaching program with Steve Huston, we talked briefly about the idea that when I am working at art, how do I know I am not wasting time? Or just trying to get over the feeling that I am just wasting time.
This has always been a problem for me, I always feel like I am wasting time yet I can’t define what un-wasted time is. Seems like I always default at the definition: something that earns money. But that doesn’t even make sense.
I always envied people who could spend time sitting in a boat or on the ice with a line in the water trying to catch a fish, or spend a couple hours firing up a sauna or preparing a meal and just enjoying the time spent.
As Steve pointed out: is meditating wasting time? That’s about as close to doing absolutely nothing as you can get. What about exercise? What about taking a walk? What about just sitting still and breathing? And the one thing I know for certain IS wasting time, scrolling the internet mindlessly or watching videos or TV, I occasionally seem to have no problem with.
So I need to try to stop thinking about doing art work as if it were somehow a waste of time. Or even a “hobby” that I do in my spare time. In the space where I am just trying to create the best version of myself, this might in fact be one of the most important places to spend my time.
I did finish a larger work recently…(yes it happens).
It’s amazing how many times and how long I have been sketching from this one reference photo to try to figure out what is important and what I am seeing and maybe even a little bit about what I want to say, (though I am never really clear on that). Flipping through some old sketch books here are just a few examples of my “thinking” process. There are undoubtedly countless others.
I did an oil painting a long time ago of this idea that I was never happy with but I like how this finished piece turned out. Back to what I enjoy…pencil and lines. This drawing is about 14”x18” in size:
“The object isn’t to make art, it’s to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable.”-From The Art Spirit by Robert Henri
Richie Havens’ “Follow” feels appropriate today. Maybe sort of a call to let life lead, opening senses, following curiosity, and listening deeply to the world.
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…if I loose my grip… will I take flight?…
Bruce Cockburn